What's that over there? Part II

Hebe!

I just wanted to see the world

Remember the time when Janet Jackson's nipple wanted to say "hi" on TV?

Budweiser had a prequel to that stunt and wanted to show it at this year's SuperBowl, but they pulled it off. Said it brought back bad memories.

Dreamer

Dr Phil:

Hi, my name is Dr Phil, and I treat patients with day-dreaming problems. This morning, a man walked into my clinic with hazy eyes and he kept repeating…

Sick man in monotone voice:

I bought a flat… I bought a flat… I bought a flat…

Dr Phil:

It was a classic case. I gave him 2 tight slaps (Slapping sfx), a kick to the groin (kicking sfx and sick man howling sfx) and my favourite arm-breaker drop slam (body slam sfx).

Sick man:

Argghhh! That hurts! Ouch! It’s real! It’s real! I know now! Please let go! Argghhh…

Announcer:

It’s so easy to buy your HDB flat with Standard Chartered HDB EasyLoan, you might think it’s a dream. Call 1800 747 7000 to know the truth now.

The Truth?

Guy Kawasaki once said this.

Israel has 5 million people, 6 million entrepreneurs and 15 million opinions. Singapore has 5 million people, 6 entrepreneurs and 1 opinion.

Sigh...

What's that over there? Part I

chio chio Zhiling

Frankenstein's pet

What were the committee (yes, a committee) who dreamed of this monstrosity thinking about? If they had wanted to suck up to the PM, I'm afraid his pathetic reply was, "Interesting".

Ya right. Interesting, meaning "hideous, but I cannot say that in public".

If I'm the lion, I'll kill myself.

Jan 24, 2005
A new Singapore icon roars to life
by Li Xueying

YOU'VE photographed the spurting Merlion, cheered the football-dribbling Lions, and gaped at the sleeping cats in the zoo.

Now, meet a new leonine species: the dancing Singapore Lion. The new national icon was born last night in Jurong East Stadium.

With 10,000 spectators looking on under a full moon, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong dotted the eyes of a lion head designed to symbolise the mythical creature discovered by Sang Nila Utama.

The Singapore Lion was launched by the Southwest Community Development Council and the Singapore National Wushu Federation.

In typical Lion City style, its birth was overseen by a committee. MP Ang Mong Seng (Hong Kah GRC), who chaired the committee that conceptualised it, said the Singapore Lion may be used in Chingay or National Day Parades.

'We're also discussing with the Singapore Tourism Board and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs how we can maximise the use of the lion overseas,' he added.

Unlike traditional Chinese dance lions, this one has a streamlined pointed snout, bared fangs, and five stars and a crescent on its forehead.

It prances to music featuring sounds from Chinese and Indian drums as well as the Malay kompang, and moves with the graceful steps of Malay dance and the stomping of Indian dance.

A smiling PM Lee, clad in a traditional Chinese shirt, called it an 'interesting icon'.

He told reporters in Mandarin that lion dances may have their roots in Chinese culture, but Malay and Indian Singaporeans have come to view them as part of their cultural background too.

'This Singapore lion has unique characteristics... The music has Chinese, Malay and Indian drums... therefore it's representative of our multiracial society. So I hope Singaporeans can identify with it, and that it can deepen our ties.'

But does Singapore need yet another icon?

CDC Mayor Amy Khor said: 'Singapore is the Lion City, so it's fine to have more than one lion, to help create a rich tapestry of different experiences.'

Audience reactions were mixed. Student Desmond Koh, 19, thought the lion looked 'effeminate'.

But construction worker Koo Ngee Meng, 47, was hopeful. 'Having a new icon may be good for the economy,' he said in Mandarin.

Cold joke of the day

My New Year resolution is 1280 by 854

Got it from Mr Brown's Singapore National Education Part 105

Hollywood budget crunch

What's this stuff called life anyway?

I just commented to my mom that it's the last week of January. Come next week is February and the week after, CNY. A month of 2005 has expired and 11 months left. Where are you now? On the way I hope.

Ah, the shortness of life. You might lament that it is too brief to accomplish anything significant. 4 years for a President is too short; 30 years for a career is too short; 50 years to live and love is too short; an entire lifetime to myself is too short.

In Tolkien's world, the elves are immortal unlike the humans. With an eternity to live, they instead, admire humans for the gift of mortality. Yes, they wished they could die. It's a deadline, the lid on the pressure cooker that compels us to live a life of memorial events to pass on to the next.

"Life isn't just about passing on your genes.
We can leave behind much more than just DNA.
Through speech, music, literature and movies...
what we've seen, heard, felt
...anger, joy and sorrow...
these are the things I will pass on.
That's what I live for.
We need to pass the torch,
and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light.
We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with.
The human race will probably come to an end some time,
and new species may rule over this planet.
Earth may not be forever,
but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can.
Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing."

Solid Snake-- Metal Gear Solid 2

XBox selling meat

When more meat is available in the market, the price will fall.

Is SpongeBob SquarePants gay?

Ahem... I know someone who looks like him. Yes, a real biological being who breathes, eats and lusts. He is The One who must not be named, and he sounds like a dick (sorry, gotta be coy).

Heard from Adfreak

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Who’s obviously gay? Oh, like you can’t see!� Er ... that’s right. Not content with villainizing live-action entertainment, conservative Christian groups are poking at a softer target, saying SpongeBob is little more than a brainwashing tool of gay-rights groups.

OK, so our underwater hero has camp cred among gay men, and he holds hands with Patrick the starfish. But as our 9th grade biology teacher, Ms. Lafferty, would point out, sponges and starfish both reproduce asexually. (Not to mention that from the looks of him, Bob was probably churned out by 3M.) Undeterred, Dr. James C. Dobson, founder of Focus on Family, claims that SpongeBob, along with Barney and Jimmy Neutron, his fellow cartoon Casanovas, is appearing in what amounts to a “pro-homosexual video.�

The video’s creator says the film focuses on tolerance and has nothing to do with sexuality. AdFreak hasn’t seen it, but one thing is clear: Encouraged by the FCC, certain conservative groups have whipped themselves into a witch hunt. Sure, Bob may have Vivian-Leigh-quality eyelashes and wear fabulous patent-leather shoes, but he also shows kids why it’s wrong to steal or be greedy and why there’s no reason to be afraid of the doctor. If that’s mind-warping ...

Take time out to regret your life choices

What are you doing at this moment? Working, studying or playing? Funny, when I tried to generalize the main activities of life, I could only come up with these 3 verbs. I have spent a great part of my life playing, studying and lesser part working.

I still remember my parents' obsession that someone in the family should graduate with a degree. It's a family creed. Study hard boy, and show those aunties and uncles on your father's side that he is not a useless fool (as if my achievements would alter people's misconceptions). We quarelled often during my teens, and it climaxed to a ferocious fight in the late months of 1991, mum forcefully rejected my pleas to study literature. "You must be in the first class," goes her argument.

And so I floated on. In the uni, I met lots of people. Classmates, lecturers, canteen hawkers, co-op operators and of course, great friends. They helped to ease the flow of time and pretty soon, 3rd year came. I was in the Honors program, and needed to write a thesis for another year, while some friends moved on. Then, I was offered a job in a foreign bank and the GM spoke to me. "Grab opportunites if they come, and this is a great one. Why study honors? Only if you want to pursue an academic career, like my wife, a polytechnic lecturer. In the private sector, an honors will boost your starting pay, that's all." After much meandering, he cut through, "Go back to school tomorrow and tell them you will stop your honors program and work for me."

I didn't work for him. Partly because I wanted to fulfill a promise to my lecturer to complete the thesis (later I discovered she didn't really care). A greater part was due to my own cowardice. I was not prepared to go out to the world. I wanted to stay in the comforts of the uni and ponder somemore. About what, I didn't know then.

As the months flew by I graduated. Moving on, I grabbed the first job that came along. Decent pay, boorish bank job. Oh how I hated banks. The accumulation of money translates into perverse abusion of power. I once vowed to myself to never work in a bank. But I did, cos I wanted money and that was available. It lasted a year and sucked. Within that year, I met Susan from an ad agency. We talked, and she asked, "Chris, if you could choose a job, what would you want to do?" A warm rush came up and bursted, "I'll think of ads." After that, I quit to work on my portfolio (I'm showing it to a CD next Tuesday).

Susan probably never realized this. She was the first person in a long time to ask me what I really wanted to do. Not what I should do. Not what I had to do. Not what my close ones think I must do. I guess deep within, I have always heard that voice, but never listened till then. I'm glad I chose for myself the life I want. It's not easy, I can't sleep at night. I often worry about the state of my portfolio and I avoid the recruit section of the papers, where so many other choices seek to mislead.

Natalie Goldberg once wrote, "Trust in what you love, continue to do it and it will take you where you need to go. And don't worry too much about security. You will eventually have a deep security when you begin to do what you want. How many of us with our big salaries are actually secure anyway?"

And after that, I don't feel so bad.

Bill Gates' other side

Let me finish puking first...

Ahem... This is Bill Gates pretending to be a porn star. Thankfully, the rest of the pics were not released (Bill ramming the disk-drive). Yucky!

Found it here

Too good to be real, Volkswagen Polo ad

VW and DDB has confirmed that it is a hoax. But what if...


This is rumoured to be a VW Polo ad, though it may never make it to your TVs cos the punchline kills!

You gotta see it for yourself.

A letter to a Bank Manager

From Mr Brown, this is good stuff

Dear Bank Manager,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing the cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty. This incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways.

You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness. No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very own bank. I can think of no greater compliment, and I know you will be excited and proud to hear it. To this end, please be advised about the following changes.

First, I have noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the personal, ever-changing, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh and blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore, and no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee of your branch, whom you must nominate.

You will be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application For Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Justice of the Peace, and that the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in all dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further by introducing you to my new telephone system, which you will notice, is very much like yours. My Authorized Contact at your bank, the only person with whom I will have any dealings, may call me at any time and will be answered by an automated voice. By pressing buttons on the phone, he/she will be guided thorough an extensive set of menus:

1. To make an appointment to see me
2. To query a missing repayment
3. To make a general complaint or inquiry
4. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there
5. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am still sleeping
6. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature
7. To transfer the call to my mobile phone in case I am not at home
8. To leave a message on my computer. To leave a message, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the contact.
9. To return to the main menu and listen carefully to options 1 through 8. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may on occasion involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration. This month, I've chosen a refrain from The Best Of Woody Guthrie:

Oh, the banks are made of marble
With a guard at every door
And the vaults are filled with silver
That the miners sweated for!

After twenty minutes of that, our mutual contact will probably know it off by heart.

On a more serious note, we come to the matter of cost. As your bank has often pointed out, the ongoing drive for greater efficiency comes at a cost - a cost which you have always been quick to pass on to me. Let me repay your kindness by passing some costs back.

First, there is the matter of advertising material you send me. This I will read for a fee of $20 per page. Inquiries from your nominated contact will be billed at $5 per minute of my time spent in response. Any debits to my account, as, for example, in the matter of the penalty for the dishonored cheque, will be passed back to you. My new phone service runs at 75 cents a minute (even Woody Guthrie doesn't come for free), so you would be well advised to keep your inquiries brief and to the point. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your humble client.

Firefox rocks IE's ass

I have just made the switch to Firefox as my internet browser, and must say I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Whatever IE can do, Firefox dishes it out with style. Forget about opening another IE to view different websites. Firefoxie arranges them nicely in one browser with different tabs (BTW, it's old technology, Netscape also have). Where IE sports a boring look, Firefox is always going to a wild costume party with themes to dress up the browser. Aesthetics aside, Firefox has less of the security loopholes that rape IE. Spyware and malware attacks on your browser should be a thing of the past. Oh, and did I mention, no more pop-ups?

Firefoxie owns IE; Just like WinAmp whooping Windows Media Player's ass.

Sorry, service is unavailable, loser

It's 8pm, you just had dinner and want to give your lovey dovey girlfriend a call. You pick up your handphone and press, expecting a dial tone. Guess what, no network! The next thing you know, your mum yells as the television program suddenly switch to static noise.

Brilliant ain't it, services you paid good money for breaks down at the time you most want it to work.

Such a loser scenario hit the recently launched World of Warcraft online game by Blizzard (raved as the game of 2004), and the subscribers are lamenting. These subscribers pay US$14.99 a month on top of the cost of the original game of US$50. Blizzard had better pull up their socks soon, before the players plan a mass exodus.

Not all is lost though. Here's what a fan had to say in defense of Blizzard

Excerpts

A glaring fact that apparently overlooked is that WoW is VERY popular and as such is experiencing the effects of multiple users hitting the servers at all times of the day. Blizzard wasn't prepared and simply is scrabbling to catch up.

But much like a perfectly planned party...have you never run out of ice, beer, clips, chairs, condoms, douche, etc?

Has Yahoo never been down? (due to server overload, broken internet, hackers)

Has your cable never been out? (due to ice storms, Cletus digging though a cable in the ground, power was out)

Has every game you ever played never been patched before? (because all games are created perfect)

Give these people a break. They are in the business of making money. If they make you mad and you quit...THEY DON'T GET YOUR MONEY ANYMORE.

They are managing 1000+ servers (each realm is made up of multiple computer boxes) of information, not to mention developing patches, new content, and troubleshooting why out of 50000 warlocks why 100 of them lost their quest item when the other 49900 had absolutely no problem.

Or why when Jack Mehoff solos the King of Stormwind by using an exploit and causes a memory leak because the king is supposed to curse him but cannot target him which causes the next NPC not to spawn but then the king comes back while in the middle of talking and suddenly Stormwind explodes in a fiery conflagration of bits, text, and polygons.

They are bugs, they will get fixed.

Huang Shujun comes to the Liew Lian

The "Liew Lian" is organizing a Chinese Arts festival, and one of the events feature "cai zi" Huang Shujun who will be chatting and singing. For those who are familiar with his songs, here's a chance to hear him perform his classic 7 min "lian ai zheng hou chun" live.

He's performing on:

11th Feb (Fri) 8 pm
12th Feb (Sat) 3 pm and 8 pm

at the "Liew Lian" of course. It will cost you $38 (Not pricey lah, considering that's the ang bao week).

3 days for an iPod shuffle skin

A skin for the iPod Shuffle has hit the market, in a matter of 3 days after Steve Jobs launched it. I think Apple has yet to sell a single player. Talk about confidence.

Ah yes, it'll come in many colors. Maybe 10, and the first few who buy it may receive an autographed edition from the CEO of Specks Products... just like the Zen soaps... Maybe not.

Excerpts

Speck Products says they’ll have a version of their SkinTight plastic iPod case available for the iPod shuffle sometime in the 2nd half of February, and that it’ll come in a variety of different colors.

Games we play

I just can't wait to be sued.

My uncle taught me how to take risks

He used to say, "Kah-kah lai! Meng kia, long tio ooh sia!"

Lucky I never listen to him.

Topic of the day: Testicles

There is a factory in America which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy "laughs" when you tickle it under the arm.

A new blonde employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 0800.

At 0845 that day, the Foreman from the assembly line begins to complain about the new employee to the Plant Manager. He said that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Plant Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor.

At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of bright red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Plant Manager bursts into laughter.

After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman.

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles".

Got it from Mr Brown

Are my testicles black?

My uncle was hospitalised after an annual check-up revealed some unusual growth. His doctor suggested a mini-op to get slices of the tumour for diagnosis, which he promptly did.

The op sent my uncle into a deep sleep for 8 hours. Upon waking he asked my dad, who was by his bed, "Are my testicles black? My testicles, are they black?"

Though my dad was a bit taken aback by the question, he gathered his courage and pulled down his pants and looked.

"No, they look fine to me."

To which, my uncle pulled down the oxygen mask over his face and said, "I meant, are my test results back?"

4 commandos jailed for dunking

The sentencing is as follows,

for the 2 officers who physically dunked the trainee, 9 months jail

for the supervising officer of the course, 3 months jail

for the course conducting officer of the day, 2 months jail

A 19-year old man has died, not from a traffic accident, not from acts of god, not from disease but from the acts of other men who were supposed to be teaching him the virtues of survival. In defence, all 4 expressed not regret, but justifications of "it has always been done this way". How sad when we don't see our own evil. If only they could hear themselves.

Edmund Burke once said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

How to make a quick buck

1. Be a passenger in the car of a reckless driver whose goal in life is to die on the streets.

2. When the accident happens and you get hurt, sue the driver.

3. Then, sue the road-owner, be it a company or the govt.

4. Since you are on a roll, sue the car-makers! In fact, sue the rubber plantations who make the tyres and the glass blowers who make the windshields. Hell, just sue for the rest of your life. Be a lawyer's best friend (I mean dog).

Mary Ubaudi of Madison County, Ill., says William Humphrey was driving too fast and, perhaps, she should know: she was a passenger in his car. When they got to a construction zone, Humphrey lost control and flipped the car. Ubaudi was thrown from the vehicle and, her attorney J. Michael Weilmuenster says, sustained severe and life-threatening injuries.

Ubaudi has sued Humphrey, asking for "at least $50,000" in damages. Surely if he was driving too fast for road conditions -- such as in a construction zone -- and caused an accident, he should be liable. And indeed, that wouldn't make news in the True Stella Awards. But Ubaudi's attorney didn't want to stop there: not if there were some potentially deep pockets to pick.

The lawsuit, filed in Madison County Circuit Court, thus also names Rowe Construction for "at least $50,000", because it was under state contract to do the construction work on the roadway. Ubaudi claims the company "failed to provide proper and reasonably safe traffic control devices for road construction, failed to properly maintain the public highway in a safe and navigable condition during the road project and failed to provide guardrails or railings during the construction project.

"OK, maybe that's plausible. But that's still not a deep enough pocket. So Ubaudi has also named Mazda Motors, the manufacturer of Humphrey's car, a Miata. And what, pray tell, did they do wrong? She claims the company "failed to provide instructions regarding the safe and proper use of a seatbelt."

One hopes Mazda's attorneys make her swear in court that she has never before worn a seatbelt, has never flown on an airliner, and that she's too stupid to figure out how to fasten a seatbelt. Meanwhile, her suit demands "in excess of $150,000" from the automaker, setting their liability at more than three times what the thinks the driver should be on the hook for.

SOURCE:"Driver, Road Contractor, Auto Maker Sued in Accident", Madison County Record, 18 November 2004
http://StellaAwards.com/cgi-bin/redirect4.pl?57c

Why is Mr Sim not impressed?

Err, Mr Sim, is your Nomad MuVo the best selling flash-tech MP3 player in the market? If not, why you assume that the new iPod Shuffle was aimed at you and your firm?

Also hor, have you ever thought that not a lot of people were impressed with your Zens, maybe including Steve Jobs?

Excerpts

Jan 13, 2005 Straits Times
Jobs does the SHUFFLE, But Creative's Sim is not impressed
By Grace Chng

SAN FRANCISCO - APPLE Computer has upped the ante in the MP3 player and computer markets, unveiling a new iPod and the cheapest Mac computer ever.

Announced at the annual Macworld exposition in San Francisco, the oh-so- tiny iPod Shuffle and the ever-so-cheap S$1,000 Mac Mini did not disappoint the highly charged audience.

But its biggest competitor in the MP3 market, Singapore's Creative Technology, was not impressed.

Soon after Apple chairman Steve Jobs made his announcement in San Francisco, half way around the world, Creative's chief Sim Wong Hoo brushed aside the Apple MP3 challenge as a 'huge disappointment'.

It was a case of been-there-done-that as far as Apple's use of flash memory was concerned, he said, referring to Creative's Nomad MuVo, released more than two years ago.

Shooting down the competition was not enough. Mr Sim fired a volley of his own, promising more MP3 players and accessories soon, including the Zen Micro Photo which can play MP3 files as well as display photos on its 1.5-inch screen.

The mass education machine

Have you ever wondered what's the use of schooling when it's not relevant to real life?

Well, the truth is, the subjects you learned are a camouflage for the real curriculum. School is the training ground to grind the new populations in lessons of punctuality, obedience and reptition.

Remember the "ding ding ding" school bell which drives late students sprinting through the front gates. Yes, the very same bell that tolls whenever a class ends or canteen break begins. That's classical conditioning; obey the time-tables or be punished. Years later, when you show up for your first day of work (and for the rest of your work life) does it sting if you turned up late, or failed to punch your card on time?

In the past, the effective teachers are those with a loud voice and exhibit pyschotic symptoms of child-hate. Some of them carry a cane to whip us with. Be obedient. Listen to my instructions. Do your homework and KEEP QUIET! Your palm! Now! Ah, all these toiling to drill the lessons of obedience into us, because at work the boss will no longer use such primitive techniques. Secretly, all bosses are trained in Advanced Miseries for Rebellious Employees 666.

Rote repetition equals tons of homework and revision exercises. 10-year series, 3-year series, past-year papers and the ever-popular assessment books, just to set the ball rolling. Forget about mental stimulation and novel exposure. What we need is to tire the brains and slash resistance to our teachings (see paragraph above). Only then will we produce the talents needed to man our economies for the ones in charge. Hahaha... ...

To be truthful, I am grateful for the changes in education policies, especially those that do away with forced obedience and rote learning. Hell, I was never good at those.

Guilty: 4 commandos who dunked a NS trainee to death

After months of court trials and debates, the Judge has pronounced all 4 commandos accused of dunking a NS trainee to death guilty, though he has yet to justify his decision.

Details of the trial were rather amusing. Apparently, the 4 commandos thought it was in their good to disagree about their own activities at the time of the dunk. Since they were on a roll, they furthered it by backstabbing fellow accused of lying and perjury.

"He was the one who pushed the head. Me, me just filled up the tub with water... I was attending to other trainees then... didn't even know someone died... I was on medical excuse due to bad knees, couldn't conduct the course..."

And of course, the classic, "We were doing it all this time... Nobody complained what"

If we can't convince them, confuse them.

When I grow up, I'm gonna be a GP

After years of hard work and thousands of dollars, do med students just decide to be a General Practioner, in the back-waters of the HDB heartlands and attend to the ailments of the common folks?

Instead of fighting cancerous cells, heart-arresting seizures and emergency scenarios, GPs cure the common cold, the recurring coughs and occasional stomach pains.

Kinda like a F1 racer driving our yellow-top cab, would you say?

I apologize to any med students or docs should they take offence. I did not intend any.

iPod vs Zen

December 27th of last year, Kelvin and me went to Sim Lim to buy an iPod for himself. We went around asking and amazingly, the iPods 20GB model had all been sold out, not only in the building but the whole of Singapore itself. Talk about hot, that iPod is one scorching Xmas gift.

On the other hand, the Creative Zens (and the soap-look-alike Micros) were found lazing around the display cabinets of most shops that sell MP3 players. Which brings me rather amazed to hear Mr Sim mention this in yesterday's newspapers.

Excerpts

Jan 7, 2005 Straits Times
Zen Micro storms MP3 market
by Ho Kah Wei

To do that, [Sim Wong Hoo] has launched his US$100 million (S$165 million) global marketing campaign in a bid to plant more of his players in new markets, including Turkey, the Middle East and China. One sign of that here at CES: The registration counter at the show's main entrance is dressed up in Creative banners showing all the Zen Micro's 10 colours.

He said: 'In Singapore, we already take about 80 per cent of the market, easily.

'I am confident that with proper marketing, we can have a big part of the global market.'

BTW, did I mention the Zen Micro looks like soap?

Today I learn to trust me

The lesson I need to learn is trust. Believe in myself when the need arises. There is no other way, otherwise, it becomes a downwards death spiral where simple things become messy, chaotic and out of control. I become my biggest enemy.

Any time, anywhere, regardless of the situation. I should not carry the burdens of life on my shoulders and display them to everybody I meet.

"Hey, look at me, a worthless piece of shit compared to my peers. You know what, don't look at me. I can't handle the stress man. I mean, I got no money, no career, no girlfriend, no life. I am a loser with a capital L. Go away. Please just go. Don't trod on my soiled esteem, I beg of you. Just throw some pity on the pavement I dirty and I'll crawl towards it."

No more. Today I learn to trust me.

In the darkness of my heart a river flows

It didn't matter if the air around was cold, it could have been piping hot and I wouldn't have noticed. Every breath I take is long, deep and chilling. The thermostat is on hyper and the breath freezes into ice shards which stabs deep into the recesses of my heart. Overflowing into my veins, the river invades every thought and feel. I am alive once again. Where once emotions stagnate in the wells and remain motionless, now it resonates to every breath that flows into my constricted lungs. Painful nevertheless, it is proof that I feel again.

At the end of the river, tears form and I cry, for the first time in many months.

What more do you want?

There was this old man with an unshakeable faith in God. He prayed everyday and felt if anything were to happen, God would take care of him.

One day, it started to rain, and the man's village flooded and everybody hurried to escape the raging waters. Some folks drove by the old man's house, urging him to go with them to safety.

Unmoved, his reply was, "The Lord will save me."

The rain kept falling and soon the old man had to go up to the second floor of his house to stay dry. A boat came by and the people urged him to climb aboard to head for safety.

Again, he refused, "Thank you kindly, but the Lord will save me."

More rain fell, and the old man had to head up his roof for safety. A helicopter flew by and the pilot shouted down, "I'll toss you a line and we'll hoist you up."

Still, he refused, "Bless you, but any minute now, the Lord will do something and I will be saved."

Within minutes, the water rose up and flushed the old man out to sea where he drowned. He went to Heaven where he met the Lord.

"You are not supposed to be here!" said the Lord. "It's not your time. What are you doing here?"

The old man replied, "I believed in You. I thought you would save me and I waited and waited but You never came. What happened?"

To this God replied, "I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?"

To be a better human being

Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D wrote this:

The 10 Rules For Being Human

1.You will receive a body
2. You will be presented with lessons
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons
4. Lessons are repeated until learned
5. Learning does not end
6. "There" is no better than "here"
7. Others are only mirrors of you
8. What you make of your life is up to you
9. All the answers lie inside of you
10. You will forget all of this at birth

Hmm... the very last rule is especially apt, cos if you didn't forget you need not get her book.

Take time out to regret your career choice

Funny how true this statement rings, cos here I am, in the midst of a career change, struggling to reach the other side of the field. Often, I have difficulty sleeping and dreams of my incompetence haunt me till deep in the break of day. The deadline of 3 months that I have set for myself is coming to an end and by February, I need to have a job in the ad industry. I must have.

I am working part-time in a local book store now, and often, ex-colleagues would wander into the store to do browsing and occasionally buy something. When they see me behind the cashier ringing up their purchases, their responses have been universal, twisted eyebrows and a slightly dropped jaw mixed with a sense of bewilderment and an unspoken thought of "What are you doing here? Why think you are too good for a bank job izit?"

It stings me.