Then and now

This is one of my favourite web-comics, Penny-Arcade. It was started by 2 guys, Tycho and Gabe, and the strip talks about video-games and generally trivial stuff. They started in 1998 and the very first strip was indeed a piece of crap. However, 8 years on, their art and writing has improved tremendously and now, others are emulating their style.

The first strip.


The strip now.

Frog

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"

The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

What is courage?

It is the ability to look at yourself and ask, who is in charge here? And then, you decide. Ya, I think that's it. Courage is seeing the fact that you can choose.

Here are some other definitions of courage:

I wanted you to see what real courage it, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

Lee Harper, "To Kill a Mockingbird"

to be nobody but yourself, in a world which is doing it's best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.

e.e. cummings

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.

Eddie Rickenbacker

Joe's rant

Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....
I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!

Canada is the second largest landmass!
The first nation of hockey!
and the best part of North America

My name is Joe!!
And I am Canadian!!!

Do not fuck with this spider

Once again, 2007 feels like a good year.

Transformers, more than meets the eye

2007 is going to be a good year.

HK uncle loses it

You got pressure, I also got pressure, ok! Don't anyhow play play ah...

The Japanese Kid ad

Ah, the one Edmund was talking about.

Canon in D, electric guitar style

oh boy oh boy oh boy

6 hit combo!!

I keeeel you

I walk alone, I walk alone

I walk a lonely road, the only one I have ever known
Don't know where it goes, but it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line, that divides me somewhere in my mind
On the borderline, off the edge where I walk alone
Read between the lines, what's fucked up and everything's all right
Check my vital signs, and know I'm still alive and I walk alone

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

Who are you?

Are you the boy who refuses to grow up to face the cruel society and its rigid rules?
Are you the dreamer who still hangs on for a chance to change the world?
Are you the man who has seen the pains of life and touched the face of death?
Are you still the man whom darkness comes to every once in a while?
Are you the man who hears the cries of the hearts of others?
Are you the man who fears what you can do?
Are you the man who lusts and lusts and lusts?
Are you the man with the sickest of desires?
Are you the beast that emerges from the deepest of the rationale to haunt the innocents?
Are you the man lost in the world of logic?
Are you the dumb and deaf who cannot hear what your heart tells you?
Are you the coward who hears but pretends his heart is not above the lure of money?
Are you the man who sabotages himself because he feels unworthy of success?
Are you the man who runs and runs and runs?
Are you the man with the greatest gift from God?
Are you the man who's going to waste the gift?
Are you the man walking on the lonely road?
Are you my worst enemy or my best friend?
Are you the one who hurts others because you fear they might hurt you deeper?
Are you an angry man who suffers at the greatest injustice in the world?
Are you one who feels unworthy?
Are you the man whom everybody misunderstands?
Are you the man who doesn't give a fuck to those who misunderstands?
Are you the man who always tries too hard?
Are you the man who always says always?

Some sicko gadget

ah yes, the memories are good

Exchange

I've not been blogging for a long time. Partly it's because I've been busy with work, book and going out. But a huge part is I have nothing to say. When you are on a journey, it's better to enjoy the view. Comments are meant only after you've reached the destination.

And right now, I am going onto another journey. I'm going to draw digital comics. It's gonna be tough, and it'll eat a lot of my time. Frankly, I presume I have to give up something in exchange for the time I need. Maybe I'll watch lesser of the shows I love so much. I'll be more selective about the books I read. And I'll have to choose the right occassions to go out. Sure I'll lose some joy, but I feel it's going to be worth it.

So I'll do it. Then I'll come back again to bitch about it.

Anyone will do

My talent

I am talented in working hard.

Why Macs stay virus-free

The ball! I swear I was going for the ball!

Imperfection

A few months ago, I picked up this book about learning how to draw comics. The author brought out an important point that I like a lot. Look for the imperfect line. Keep drawing lots of imperfect lines. Don't press too hard. Just keep drawing until you feel the shape is there. Then you apply the final touches. But the final touches are just what they are. It's the imperfections that matter. The sketches of life. They form the details. The finished look are merely a shell of the finest details.

Look for the imperfect line, the imperfect phrase & the imperfect person. They are a lot bigger than the end-result.

Adobe launches free Photoshop

"We give up." goes Adobe's answer to piracy of its trophy software, Photoshop.

Adobe is launching a free edition online, supported by brands who want to get in the act. Brand placements, they say.

So now, when you copy Ctrl+C, Xerox is behind you.
When you cut, you cut with the finest of Gillette's blades.
When you paste, it sticks with Super Glue.
And when you clear, you erase all traces with Tide.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

Love your smell

25 days later

I have not written anything for 25 days. Things happened. Journeys traveled. Distances breached. Maybe one day, I will sit down in calm and write them down. Afterall, the road is long.

Rumours

The mills have been grinding non-stop on the latest video-ipod designs. Look at that. Touch screen technology. Screens that stretch across the entire device. Cool. Now just pray it's real, boys.

Can you smell my BO now?

"Get away from me, or this ball goes around your neck!"

The lawyers have it easy

Here's an actual e-mail exchange between 2 lawyers that circulated over the all-knowing internet.

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 9:23 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Thank you

Dear Attorney Korman,

At this time, I am writing to inform you that I will not be accepting your offer.

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living in light of the work I would be doing for you. I have decided instead to work for myself, and reap 100% of the benefits that I sow.

Thank you for the interviews.

Dianna L. Abdala, Esq.

-----Original Message-----
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 12:15 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Dianna --

Given that you had two interviews, were offered and accepted the job (indeed, you had a definite start date), I am surprised that you chose an e-mail and a 9:30 PM voicemail message to convey this information to me. It smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional. Indeed, I did rely upon your acceptance by ordering stationary and business cards with your name, reformatting a computer and setting up both internal and external e-mails for you here at the office. While I do not quarrel with your reasoning, I am extremely disappointed in the way this played out. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Will Korman

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:01 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Re: Thank you

A real lawyer would have put the contract into writing and not exercised any such reliance until he did so.

Again, thank you.

-----Original Message-----
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:18 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Thank you for the refresher course on contracts. This is not a bar exam question. You need to realize that this is a very small legal community, especially the criminal defense bar. Do you really want to start pissing off more experienced lawyers at this early stage of your career?

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
To: William A. Korman
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:28 PM
Subject: Re: Thank you

bla bla bla

First try

Photoshop

It runs on whisky

Great mod.

Comics

Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, talks about comics and how different parts of the audience responds to them.

Gag Lovers: This group looks for classic cleverness in their comics. They don’t care that much about art, as long as it isn’t distracting. Nor do they care about the comic’s relevance to their life. “Funny is funny� would be their motto. They’re about 20% of the population at most.

Visual People: This group cares so much about the look of a comic that the writing becomes secondary. The people in this group would never admit that their sense of humor is influenced by the art, but their lists of favorite comics will always be the ones that are the most artistically accomplished. They’re about 20% of the population too.

Relevance People: This group cares the least about the art and cleverness of a comic. They look for comics that are relevant to their own lives. They want to know they’re not alone in their peeves and viewpoints. This group is the largest, probably 60% of the population.

If you substitute the word "comic" with "ad", I believe his comment still holds water.

You can make your ad funny. You can also make it look great. But you must make it relevant to the reader. Only then will you stand a chance of engaging them. And remember, people like comics and hate ads. It's double the challenge.

Lying Eyes

City girls just seem to find out early,
how to open doors with just a smile.
A rich old man and she won't have to worry.
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style.
Late at night a big old house gets lonely,
I guess every form of refuge has its price.
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only,
given to a man with hands as cold as ice.
So she tells him she must go out for the evening,
to comfort an old friend who's feeling down.
But he knows where she's going as she's leaving,
she’s headed for the cheating side of town.

On the other side of town a boy is waiting,
with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal.
She drives on through the nice anticipating,
cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel.
She rushes to his arms, they fall together,
She whispers that it's only for awhile.
She swears that soon she'll be coming back forever,
she pulls away and leaves him with a smile.

She gets up and pours herself a strong one,
and stares out at the stars up in the sky.
Another night, it's gonna be a long one,
she draws the shade and hangs her head to cry.
She wonders how it ever got this crazy,
she thinks about a boy she knew in school.
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool.
My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things,
you set it up so well, so carefully.
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things,
you're still the same old girl you used to be.

You can't hide your lying eyes,
and your smile is a thin disguise.
I thought by now you'd realize,
there ain't no way to hide your lying eyes.
There ain't no way to hide your lying eyes.
Honey, you can't hide your lying eyes.

The Earth is melting

Must not be too thick

A smart use of space. Not bad. Not bad at all.

User requirements

Something tells me Lawrens and Florens will appreciate this.

Beware of forum posters!

The 2 dudes at Penny Arcade ran a game demo of Black and decided it was nonsense. But a guy thought differently and raved about it on a public forum. It would have been the usual forum trolling exchange till this turned up in the PA inbox.

Hey guys,

I interviewed for a guerilla marketing business in San Francisco that targeted web forums.

I was told that if I accepted the job, I was to have at LEAST 50 identities on as many forums as I could muster (they wanted 100 eventually), with a goal of 5 posts an hour. The posts had to be well thought out, and the idea was that I was to establish multiple identities with a history on the forums, so that when the timing was right a well written but subtly placed marketing post could be finessed in. And regular visitors would recognize the post as coming from a long time poster.

They had 12 people working there full time, and were hiring 10 more. You do the math. No wait, I'll do it for you: that's 880 posts a day (if minimum was met). However he said the better ones could do around 8 or 10 an hour. And they had different "verticals" so there was the sports guy, and the games guy, the hentai, excuse me I mean anime guy, etc.

But the most critical point was this: develop and integrate the identity. No random "HEY EB GAMES IS AWESOME BUY THIS" stuff.

Kinda spooky.

Didn't take the job. It was a fucking mill.

False profits

Came across this article about Multi-level Marketing. Author debunks the 10 myths of this legendary form of business structure that supposedly brings about financial independence and spiritual maturity. Riiiiight. MLM BS takes the cake, eats it and shoves it up the big a-hole in the sky.

Lie #1: MLM is a business offering better opportunities for making large sums of money than all other conventional business and professional models

Lie #2: Network marketing is the most popular and effective new way to bring products to market. Consumers like to buy products on a one-to-one basis in the MLM model

Lie #3: Eventually all products will be sold by MLM, a new form of marketing. Retail stores, shopping malls, catalogues and most forms of advertising will soon be rendered obsolete by MLM

Lie #4: MLM is a new way of life that offers happiness and fulfillment. It is a means to attain all the good things in life

Lie #5: MLM is a spiritual movement

Lie #6: Success in MLM is easy. Friends and relatives are the natural prospects. Those who love and support you will become your lifetime customers

Lie #7: You can do MLM in your spare time. As a business, it offers the greatest flexibility and personal freedom of time. A few hours a week can earn a significant supplemental income and may grow to a very large income making other work unnecessary

Lie #8. MLM is a positive, supportive new business that affirms the human spirit and personal freedom

Lie #9. MLM is the best option for owning your own business and attaining real economic independence

Lie #10: MLM is not a pyramid scheme because products are sold

What study does

What Jack needs

"You... You will always need something to fix."

Sarah, to her husband Jack, before she left for another man.

Baseball

Oh, such a beautiful girl... I mean sport.

This is how others see us

I found this thread in an ad forum talking about dog-walker ads.

Just so you know, dog-walker ads refer to ads done for awards sake. Sometimes, the ads are for imaginary clients. Worse times, they are for easy products or services where there is inherent drama. This is pure masturbation; It pleases only the person who created it.

Frogs

Here's an interesting article on frogs. Research shows frogs are sensitive to temperature changes in the environment. They display extreme distaste for hot climates and prove it by dying, sometimes one species at a time.

Now this runs in the face of the story of the boiling frog, which goes like this. Put a frog in a beaker of water. Boil the water under a slow flame and the frog does not jump out. This story compares frogs to people who swim in beakers and cook themselves. Or something like that. I think.

Enough about that. In America, frogs die because the temperature is rising.

Why Are These Frogs Croaking?
Massive die-offs in the American tropics are an early warning of the effects of global warming
By JEFFREY KLUGER

Hardy and plentiful as they seem, frogs are actually very frail things, with a semipermeable skin that leaves them vulnerable to even the slightest hiccup in their environment. So when entire species of brightly colored harlequin frogs started dying off in the cloud forests of Central and South America about 25 years ago, scientists suspected that something in the amphibians' ecosystems--they weren't sure what--had gone awry.

Now an international team of scientists think they've solved the mystery. Comparing changes in annual temperatures with the number of frog species spotted, they've documented for the first time a direct correlation between global warming and the extinction of about two-thirds of the 110 known species of harlequin frog.

The critters in question are favorites of scientists studying climate change. Quick and polychromatic, the frogs spend their days near stream banks, where their constant motion and vibrant hues make it easy for researchers to count them. Previous studies have shown that it's not heat alone that kills harlequins but also a pathogen--the chytrid fungus--that attacks their skin. The chytrid is actually a cool-weather organism, doing best at temperatures from 63°F to 77°F. Paradoxically, an effect of global warming is to increase cloud cover in the tropical forests, lowering daytime temperatures and making the frogs more vulnerable to fungal assault.

The most persuasive piece of evidence in the new study, led by J. Alan Pounds of the Monteverde Cloud Forest Preserve in Costa Rica and published in Nature, is a graph that shows both annual changes in average temperature and the number of frog extinctions per year on the same grid: the jagged lines track each other with eerie precision. Species die-offs follow warm years 80% of the time. With tropical air temperatures from 1975 to 2000 rising three times as fast as the 20th century average, things should only get worse.

Frogs are what scientists call an indicator species: particularly sensitive animals that are the first to go when the climate starts to change. Their extinction may increase pressure on government and industry to dial back greenhouse gases. The harlequins, after all, are only the beginning.

You know you are in love

Sure the iPod is a marvelous product, but do you have to dock it in the toilet? Just so we are clear, beneath the white exterior is an exoskeletion of electric circuitry. It's the kind of ugly you don't want to know.

Your iPod doesn't love you back. Period. And no, your iPod needs not the intimate details of your waste disposal techniques. Give it a break.

2006 part 2

A few days ago, I posted my resolutions for this year. I like to sum up my resolutions into single action sentences cos it's easy to remember. Some of my past resolutions were like that.

1. Keep promises to the best I can.

2. Be honest.

3. Go where I want to go, even if it's the road less taken.

4. Listen more, talk less.

If I want to sum up my resolutions for 2006, it would be: Follow through all my efforts.

Living in the past

One of the common sins we commit is to mistake the past for the present. Sometimes, we find the past easier to deal with. Times when we were simple, young and clueless. And the world was less complicated. So we live our present with the conditions of the past.

On the other hand, some may live in the past because it was worse than now. The times were hard, people were sharp and they cut us frequently with their words or actions. Some of the wounds never heal because we lick them constantly. We feed the bruised egos with our attention and keep them exposed.

Both are difficult to recognize and deal with.

There's a third kind. You deny emotional and physical growth among your friends. You refuse to let them outlive their childish weaknesses. You refuse to see their maturity for all its worth. When you meet a friend and you start to talk, try to focus on the topics you bring up. Is it about the past mistakes that your friend commits? That's when you are not letting the past go. It doesn't hurt you that much. But you sting your friend because you imprison him in the past.

This is also difficult to see in yourself. You are lonely in the past. You want to stick there and you need company.

2006

Today is the 8th January 2006. Here are some of the things I set myself to do in 2006.

1. Complete my portfolio and get a job by June.

2. Write 2 hours a day as practice. Believe the power of words. Post a forum comment every morning.

3. Explore comics drawing 2 hours a day. Develop a style and find a voice. Post a piece once a week.

Pizza, pineapple and a goat's anus

Our education system

I wrote this on a forum few days ago. The topic was, does our education make us a better person.

***
I feel we place too much emphasis on rewards like prize wages, loud cars and landed houses. We forget that those are rewards, not goals. They are supposed to come after you have put in the hard work to achieve your dreams.

And yes, I said dreams. The ambitions you held when you were young and ignorant. The essay you wrote in Primary School about "When I grow up, I want to be..."

Some of you see dreamers as unrealistic people. Some of you see dreamers as aliens in our society. Some of you see dreamers as folks with a missing screw in their heads.

And you must be right because you no longer dream.

Dreamers are looking for a smack of reality in their face. They don't know enough of the world, and those who know are so desperate to share their knowledge of what doesn't work.

I'm quite sure that's what Steve Jobs heard when he insisted on making PCs in his garage. IBM told him there's no market. HP told him to wake up.

It's like our education system.

It teaches our children to memorize the facts of yesterday, but doesn't teach them to learn the knowledge of tomorrow.

It teaches our children the hindsight to accept reality, but doesn't teach them the courage to change it.

It teaches our children to keep in line with the system, but doesn't teach them to keep the faith in themselves.

Our education system works too well. We see less and less dreamers everyday. A little bit more, and we'll murder them all.
***

Have you set a deadline to give up?

I got the above question quite a few times in 2005. I don't have a definite answer, and I feel uncomfortable taking the question. I would give a vague reply, something like: Not yet.

This morning, being the first day of 2006 and all, I gave it a little thought. Then I realised why I felt uneasy with the question. It was because I've never thought about it before. Why should I give myself a deadline to do something I won't do at all? I will not give up.

And to those who asked this question before, let me ask you back. Why do you think I should set a deadline to give up? Because you think I'm wasting my time on an empty dream? Because you think I don't have what it takes? Or what? Why do you think I should give up?

Maths problem

Hahaha. I really enjoyed this comic.

Happy new year folks!

And Lawrence made me drink a lot. Ass (: b)

Book of the year

I have read many books in 2005, but nothing comes close to this.

This excellent book teaches you to spot your mental locks and how to open them. You will recognize your thinking pattern and learn a different method to complement it.

For example, you could be very strong in critical thinking and economic rationality. That is excellent in the workplace because we value people who can solve problems with the shortest time and the least cost.

But life is rarely that simple. Solutions are smudged with uncertainties. An option may solve 80% of the problem, but it worsens the remaining 20%. What do you do when your primary reasoning fails to solve the problem?

Dig into the other side of the mind: parallel thinking.

You see, critical thinking is a process of elimination; It cuts down wasteful options. Parallel thinking is a process of creation; It opens up a universe of possibilities.

Critical thinking emphasizes about how different things are. Nobody would mistake a fridge for a cat. But parallel thinking sees how similar a cat and a fridge is. Both have a place to store fish. Both have a tail. And both purr.

Like a spotlight, critical thinking is bright, clear and intense, but the focus is narrow. Parallel thinking is like a floodlight. It is more diffuse, not as intense, but covers a wider area.

To effectively solve any problem, you need parallel thinking to see all the solutions. Then you use critical thinking to pick the answer.

Personally, I find it useful for 2 kinds of problems. The first kind are new problems that require answers I've never imagined possible. And I learn new things that have not appeared on any books before. It's like blind spots: I can't see what I missed till I turn around.

The second kind of problem is people-related. Parallel thinking taught me how to see a person for all his worth. Instead of thinking about what a person cannot do, I learn to value what a person can be taught.

Look into the mirror today. Is it someone who sticks to the familiar, or someone who learns something new everyday?

The Chronicles of Narnia

I have just watched the Chronicles of Narnia. Normally I won't do this, but the desire to release myself from this experience compels me to comment. Hopefully the writing will grant me peace.

Once again, Disney has brought a children fantasy to life on the silver screen. The movie lasts 140 minutes, though it was supposed to be a standard 90 minutes. Rumour has it that the editors fell sick due to over-exposure from the film. Even censors refused to go near it without chemical warfare protection.

In the movie, 4 British children enter the magical land of Narnia through a wardrobe. Now Narnia happens to be a tourist-free country because there are no immigration officers at the other end of the wardrobe, searching for terrorists, bombs or drugs. Instead, it is a land free of humans, if you excuse a nasty witch.

By accident, 8 year-old Lucy wanders into the wardrobe and meets a fawn. In case you are wondering, a fawn resembles a genetic mixup between a man and a goat. He excels in seducing young girls to his house with tea, toast and sardines. I don't know why, but the word paedophile keeps popping into my head. Maybe Disney Corp picked up a British newspaper.

Talking animals make up the majority of the Narnia population and they are divided into 2 camps: the witch party and the lion tribe. The witch is the incumbent tyrant. The lion, king of beasts and all, plots high treason because he hasn't had any Christmas gifts for a hundred years. And it was because Santa Claus took an extended break and pinned the blame on the witch... No wait, that part was from The Grinch That Stole Christmas.

And there's supposed to be a prophecy that every animal in Narnia knows because it's standard kindergarten material. One day, 4 kids would come and rescue them from the cold bitch. Now that must be true, because I saw the same storyline in The Matrix.

One part that confuses me though: why is Narnia a magical land when the witch is the only one who casts magic? Sure there are satyrs, minotaurs and talking beavers, but I really fail to appreciate the magic. You would have expected the 4 kids to wield a wand, chant some spells or toss some fireballs. But no, they did not. Sigh... But I can't blame them, can I? There's no magic in A Series of Unfortunate Events too.

Moving on... Kids meet witch. Kids run away to join the lion's gang. Kids fight and witch dies. Kids become kings and queens of Narnia. Lion takes a long walk along the coastline and forgets to come back. Kids go back to the real world. All's well that ends well. Freakingly, wholesomely, nicely boring stuff.

Excuse me, Disney executives, have you heard of the wizard Harry Porter? No? Oh nevermind.

Don't talk during lunch

I buy my lunch at the coffeeshop or hawker centre every afternoon. You can see all kinds of people there. Office folks, labour folks, study folks... It's a global thing. We eat lunch in the middle of the day because we are hungry.

Everytime I'm in the queue, I think about them. What are they thinking right now? What are they chatting in-between mouthfuls of food? What occupies their minds after swallowing their coffee?

Maybe they are drooling over the new girl whose skirt fails to discipline her creamy legs.

Maybe they are cursing the CEO who stole from the donors, the kidney patients and the NKF staff outside of his bloody gang.

Maybe they are just choking over a stupid joke.

I don't know. But one thing I'm sure. They are not talking about ads.

Because the ads today talk about how the product is the grandest, the superest or the bestest.

Because the ads today talk about how smart the ads are, with concepts that need no words to explain themselves.

Because the ads today talk about how the cutting-edge techniques win the copywriters and art directors so many awards in the international scene.

And because the ads today talk so much, people no longer listen. After all, they are not in advertising. Why should they care?

When I go to a doctor, I don't want to know his college life, his X-ray machine, or his 54-year old nurse. What I'm more interested is the headache that threatens to split my skull and when I'm going to recover from it.

The cliche goes: What's in it for me?

The next time you are out for lunch, think. Is your ad talking to them? You can't persuade if they aren't listening.

A good ad stops the reader. A great ad feeds his mind, warms his heart and bursts out of his mouth during lunch.

So buy your food, sit down and stay quiet. Don't talk too much. Listen. Lunchtime is crunchtime.

What is The Final Solution?

Is it:

1. A mathematical hypothesis that can divide any number by zero and thus prove how the universe came together?

2. An ongoing debate among the World Health Organization to eradicate AIDS in Africa by 2060?

3. A systematic elimination of Jews by Germans in World War 2?

4. A logical process Sherlock Holmes devised to crack his murder mysteries?

The answer:

Perhaps, you are familiar with its other name: The Holocaust.

This happened in World War 2. The Nazis had decided the Jewish peoples were troubling his European conquest. So Hitler devised a plan to round up the Jews and murder them. 6 million Jews were imprisoned in concentration camps and gassed, shot and mutilated.

This decision to systematically kill the Jews of Europe was made at the Wannsee conference in Berlin. During the conference, a group of Nazi officials convened to decide on the "Final Solution of the Jewish Question". The records and minutes of this meeting were found intact by the Allies at the end of the war and served as valuable evidence during the Nuremberg Trials.

The Final Solution was the blueprint; The Holocaust was the execution.

Baby Blues!

I love this strip. The artists must be genuine parents. Either that, or they are extremely talented folks.

What do you make?

I took this from a Graduation Speech by Thomas Friedman.

... It goes like this: "The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued this way. 'What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? You know, it's true what they say about teachers: 'Those who can do, do; those who can't do, teach.' To corroborate his statement he said to another guest, 'Hey, Susan, you're a teacher. Be honest, what do you make?'

"Susan, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness, replied, 'You want to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could and I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence. I can make a C-plus feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor and an A feel like a slap in the face if the student didn't do his or her very best.' Susan continued, 'I can make parents tremble when I call home or feel almost like they won the lottery when I tell them how well their child is progressing.'

Gaining speed, she went on: 'You want to know what I make? I make kids wonder, I make them question, I make them criticize, I make them apologize and mean it, I make them write and I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English.'

Susan then stopped and cleared her throat. 'I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart. And if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make in money, you pay them no attention.'

Susan then paused. 'You want to know what I make?' she said. 'I make a difference. What about you?'"

LOST, with too much time

Found this thread on a forum. Someone started a funny dialogue with Jack and Locke, and everybody just pitched in with a new line. A bit long though, but funny. You need to watch Season 2 Ep 9 to appreciate some parts.

*Jack was strolling in the hatch when the key around his neck decided to stick to the concrete wall.

Jack : Uhhh.. Guys? Help?
Locke : The key wants to be on the wall, listen to what the key is trying to tell you, it's your destiny dammit!!
Ana Lucia : Oh forget it! Forget the damn key, just let me shoot it!!
Michael : They took my son!!
Jin : Udders, Udders!
Hurley : Dude?? Would you...like...let the key go???
Eko :........(long pause....like 40 or so days) i would like to explain this all.....if you dont mind
Charlie : Off course I bloody mind....and stay away from Virgin Mary statue you friggin' lunatic
Eko : ...... (another long pause) I think its magnetic ....
Jack : Shut up all of you! i can't stand this, i'm going to drink some wine. Ana Lucia, if you would join me to have a baby while i abandon you in a future episode. Thank you!
AnaL : We'll just take this baby, its easier
Claire : You can't take my baby!
Charlie : Give us back our baby!
Claire : Its my baby Charlie, mine!
Jin : Udders! Udders!
Sawyer : What the hell's with all this Udders business Jackie Chan?
Eko : I can explain about the Udders............................................ .......
Sayid : Does anyone speak French?
Danielle : The Others are coming for the boy, they want him to milk them! By the way, wait why i am so early here in season 2?
Walt : I'm gonna play with Mr. Locke
Michael : Stay away from Mr. Locke, Walt. They took my son.
Desmond : "you gotta make your own kinda music" ... woah, where did you guys come from ??
Kate : Sorry boys, gotta run. I have a black horse to catch.
Sawyer : Well hang on there freckles, I saw that horse too and its half mine ..
Horse : If you break me open you'll find that i'm full of heroin
Charlie : Bloody hell , that sounds like a good horse.
Horse : I'm a charlie horse. Hahahaha... But i'm not a very funny horse.
Walt : dab, nottub on..
Michael : WALT!!! HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?!
Hurley : Uhh, dude? That is your son.
Michael : No, he can't be. My son doesn't constantly drip water out of his mouth and speak in a creepy backwards language.
Locke : Maybe the island is trying to tell us something. Maybe we should all wear water wings in case the ocean rises.
Eko : Do not confuse coincidence w-- *gets smacked by Jin*
AnaL : Wow, thanks Jin, I've wanted to do that for a while.
Rose : hello...i'm off now, i dont like it in here...
Vincent : woof woof woof
Walt : sdrawkcab klat em ekam sreddu
Jack : slow down, don't everybody start talking at the same time
The Monster : grawrawrlarwarl
Eko : The Lord is my Shepherd.... AAAAHJKLSDHLKD *gets eaten by monster*
Sayid : Ohhhhkaaaay. Don't think I've ever seen someone get eaten by black smoke before. That was.. interesting.
Shannon : Yeah, strange.
Sayid : ?!??! Shannon?! I thought you were dead!
Shannon : Oh whoops, sorry. Thought this was a season one thread.. *sneaks off*
Sawyer: Oh crap, Shaft got shafted by the monster(turns to AL), Hotlips, here is your chance to be a bitch again, shoot that thing!
Hurley : Dude..where are Rose and Bernard? *hears some weird noises from the weapon's chamber*
Polar bear : hey, how come the horse can talk and not me?! oh.. wait a second....
Charlie : Oi you dirty old gits...my baby's trying to bloody sleep, keep it down you
Claire : But Charlie.....
Charlie : For Pete's sake woman shut up!
Sun : i'd like to hear Scott's opinion on this
Walt : that's steve....scott's dead
Michael : oh so it WAS scott who died, wait a second.....WAAAAAAALT!!!!!!
Desmond : do you want him to die? .....brother.
AnaL : Yea, let me kill him
Locke : it's desmond's destiny dammit, dont tell him what he can't do!
Boone('s ghost) : if it's his destiny, john, why hasnt he done it then
Locke : the island will tell him what to do!!
Hurley : the islands kinda...cursed.
Locke : Hugo, it may be cursed, but dont stand in the way of destiny!
Danielle : yes....i agree, it is cursed....
Charlie : don't listen to her, she's missing a bloody wingnut!
Danielle : what iz diss? Wing-nut did ju say? 'Av we recited de Notre Dame au jour dui?
Sayid : So, this curse - maybe I could use a triangulation to find it.
Danielle : I hear them, out there in the jungle, they whisper...
Libby : I need a drink..
AnaL : I heard that..
Dr. Marvin Candle : Do not attempt to use this thread for anything else other than the entering of the code...
Walt : Dad?
Michael: YOU TOOK MY BOY!
Walt : how did i take myself dad? u been using some of that gunk locke put on boones head?
Locke : Don't tell me what I can't do! The island told me to do it.
AnaL : Alright everyone, get up - we're moving out.
Sawyer : Is that right, Rambina?
Sun : Mykul, wait! The udders took my wedding ring too!
Rose : Honey, dont get your knickers in a twist. It will be here on the island, i just know
Bernard : give me more chocolate, woman!
Sun : Mykul Mykul my wedding ring!
Michael : They took my son!
Desmond: 4 8 15 16 23 42 * 4 8 15 16 23 42*
Michael: *looks at Desmond* Whate the hell is with you and those numbers? They took my son, man! Waaaaalt!! Waaaaaalt!!
Desmond: You type in these numbers brotha, and you might find your real son...
Michael: *???* Type what in where??
Locke: (chuckles lightly)...they took your son (gets a little nasty) well they took my kidney and I want it back dammit
Jack: well..John....I have Boone's Kidney...was keeping it incase..y'know
Sawyer: In case of what Dr Frankenstein?
Eko:.....................err.....sup guys!
Danielle: Hi Eko, your new here, are'nt you, your drug plane brother must be proud.
Eko: Your a udder, DIE!
Sayid: Eko! no, don't do it, she lost her baby!
Eko: Okay, i am sorry. *cries
ABC: What if you are on a plane flying from Sidney to Los Angeles? A plane full of strangers... ...
Everybody: Dude, we already know that.

This actually happened

Xbox 360 just launched in the US and it ran out of stock. The unfulfilled demand motivated people to rob others at gun-point.

Sigh. There's no more hope for us.

Some phrases I've learnt over the week

I agree. - You've got a point.

I'm wrong and I'm sorry. - I'm only human.

I don't know. - Only God knows everything.

What do you think? - Exactly. What do you think?

Yes. - I don't agree yet, but I'm listening.

Why do you think so? - Tell me why I should agree with you.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Caught the movie last Tuesday. It was based on a true story of Anneliese Michel, a German girl who was possessed and her priest was subsequently charged with negligient manslaughter.

6 demons possessed Emily. Why 6, you ask? A bargain, maybe. Buy 1 demon possession, get 5 more demons?

And why would Emily, a girl of stout religious faith, be possessed? Don't really know too. Maybe a test of faith?

Office evolution

Dilbert started in 1989, making it a 16-year marathon. Makes you wonder what the author, Scott Adams grew up on. Must be plenty of oppression, cynicsm and higher-order ignorance.

Well, when you have a good thing going, don't stop. More blood, sweat and balls in the corporate jungle, please, thank you.

Man Utd 1 - 0 Chelsea

After a horrendous week, Man Utd reversed their decline with a win over the runaway 2004 Champion, Chelsea.

Had you seen the way the Chelsea players swaggered into Old Trafford stadium, you would have prayed for Man Utd for all 90 minutes.

The Man Utd squad stood up to the pressure, especially after the harsh criticism from their injured captain, Roy Keane. His apprentice, Alan Smith shone on the pitch to guide the young squad, and was awarded the Man of the Match. Here's a poem by Soccernet on his performance.

The Village Smith, for Alan Smith
Under a spreading chestnut tree,
The Manchester Smithy stands,
Alan Smith, a mighty man is he,
United midfield in his hands,

His brow is wet with honest sweat,
He'll play wherever he can.
And looks the whole world in the face,
For he owes not any man.

Week in, week out, from morn til night,
You'll hear his lungs a-blow,
As a Roman warrior beating his chest,
When his troops are low.

When DOTA meets Politics

Ass Ripper - The Supreme Ruler
Primary: Intelligence
Appearance: Mounts a white horse and governs from afar.



Superscale Salary
To attract the best, you have to pay the best. Aura. Leaches gold from creeps everytime they kill something.


Level 1 - Leaches 40% of gold. AOE = 1/4 of map.
Level 2 - Leaches 60% of gold AOE = 1/3 of map.
Level 3 - Leaches 80% of gold. AOE = 1/2 of map.
Level 4 - Leaches 100% of gold. Covers the entire map.


Pre-election Tactics (T)
Ass Ripper whips out a loud-hailer and starts lying. Increases attack & movement speed, but insults units' intelligence. Cooldown: 4 years.

Level 1 - Attack & movement speed increase by 100%, intelligence decrease by 70%
Level 2 - Attack & movement speed increase by 200, intelligence decrease by 80%
Level 3 - Attack & movement speed increase by 300%, intelligence decrease by 90%
Level 4 - Attack & movement speed increase by 400%, intelligence becomes zero.


Post-election Strategy (S)
Having won the election, Ass Ripper enjoys the fruits of his labour by disappearing from the battlefield. Teleports hero to an ally unit or building.

Level 1 - 30 second cooldown.
Level 2 - 20 second cooldown.
Level 3 - 10 second cooldown.
Level 4 - 5 second cooldown.


Bankruptcy
Any hero foolish enough to attack Ass Ripper will feel the wrath of his lawyers. Opponents usually scream a rush of expletives before exiting the game in disgust.

Level 1 - 30% chance of activation. Sucks 50% of enemy's gold.
Level 2 - 40% chance of activation. Sucks 75% of enemy's gold.
Level 3 - 50% chance of activation. Sucks 100% of enemy's gold.

It's all relative

How to watch a child die

Avert your gaze from his eyes,
even if they plead for you to be drawn to their depths.
Instead focus on his sallow complexion
the sun crawling on his aged skin,
the colour of the well-trodden carpet
in your living room;
the spot where your son once threw his football boots
and you missed bleaching for the past few years.

Do not try to guess his age
ot say, he is older than he looks
as you study his brittle bones, too-large head
and the empty basket of his ribcage.
Think instead of the sound they may make
when his body is thrown into a ditch;
the sound of the rain whipping through branches,
the crackling of a creek before thaw
or your antique vase
crashing into smithereens
from its place on the matelpiece.

Turn away from the blank faces of your own children
and make no associations.
Pretend you do not notice
how your teenager leaves her food
uneaten on her plate (Convince yourself you are
not an escapist) After all,
this skeletal child is merely
a marionette in a macabre fairytale.

Now, ignore the queasy feeling in your stomach
as you get up to dish out the dessert.
Resolve to write to the authorities
to complain for showing such
disturbing footage during dinner.

Be blind to the broken birds of the child's
hands as they reach out pleading to be held,
the rolling whites of his eyes, the bruised animals
of his lips, parting, as he takes his last...

Turn off the television set.

Children should not know that
(in some very remote parts of the world)
they may die before their mothers.

- Amanda Chong, 16 year old, wrote this poem. It won this year's Foyle Young Poets of the Year Award.

Failures

Before Abraham Lincoln got into the White House, he did the following:

Failed in business in 1831.
Defeated for Legislature in 1832.
Failed in business again in 1833.
Suffered nervous breakdown in 1836.
Defeated for Speaker in 1838.
Defeated for Elector in 1840.
Defeated for Congress in 1843.
Defeated for Congress in 1848.
Defeated for Senate in 1855.
Defeated for Vice President in 1856.
Defeated for Senate in 1858.

He was elected President in 1860, after 29 years of failing in the public limelight.

I know failure too. Over the last month, I had been to 8 agencies, with not a single offering. One of the CD said everything sucked, and told me to stop this nonsense. Bollocks.

I choose not to give up.

Faith

Faith is the currency of the soul. It is the voice that tells us to hold on when the world insult our intentions. It catches us when we crash to the harsh realities of life.

For all it's worth, we find faith only after we throw away everything false to our lives.

Do you have faith?

Secrets

I read a book recently, and found it relevant to advertising. Here are the main principles.

It's tough to answer a brief. Part of the problem is deciding what to say. A good way to begin is to ask: what is my purpose? What am I trying to accomplish by composing and delivering this particular message to this particular audience?

Purpose is a fundamental concept, because the reason we communicate is to get things done. To bring a change in someone's thoughts or actions. We want to move the audience from Point A (where they are, intellectually, emotionally or behaviourally) to Point B. Point B could be buying a product, prefering a brand over another, or simply watching the football match on Saturday.

You can either confirm, challenge or change, your reader's emotions, beliefs or behaviour. They make a matrix of 9 combinations, of which you can only accomplish one at a time. Don't be greedy.

Even if you are only conveying information, try to understand why you are doing so. If not, you might as well read them the phone book.

There should be no secrets about your purpose. Your reader must be able to understand all your intentions. They must understand why each piece of your message is there, and how it fits with the rest.

Never leave them thinking, "Now why is he telling me this?"

Your purpose will control your content. Everything that helps you acomplish your purpose goes in. Other things go out.

What goes into your mesage is also determined by the needs of the audience. In most cases, you will have little personal acquaintances with your audiences. And yet, if your communication is to be effective, you need to make assumptions.

Consider the act of buying a gift for a total stranger. You could buy something (anything), but you won't know how they would react.

Think about the reader, and what you want them to do. Double-check to see if your readers find your message, important, interesting or useful to them. Know when your reader agrees with you and when they think you are bull-shitting.

The audience and the purpose controls the content. Always.

What if we run out?

Ad people think of ideas to solve advertising problems. How do we do it?

In the initial concept stage, we go for quantity, not quality. We let the crap seep out. We churn our minds inside out. We dump every idea remotely related to the problem.

An average thinking session should generate 20 to 30 ideas. If we are lucky, we'll find 2 are good, 6 or 7 are interesting and the rest suck. Without missing a beat, we enter another session and we repeat till the ideal solution turns up.

We have nightmares of the day our ideas run dry. That is why we stock up on trivia and information people have for their day jobs. We rack up irrelevant stuff in the hope of turning it into gold.

When the day comes and we run out of ideas, what happens then?

The world will not stop. Neither will the skies crumble into the embrace of the blue oceans. The invisible hand will not rest and the wheels of capitalism will not grind to a halt. People still love people. Babies still cry. Bees still make honey and the flowers still bloom.

The ad man will shrug his shoulders and head for the streets, where his readers are. The answers don't lie inside our heads. The answer lies inside the readers' minds, and hearts. Too often, we learn this fact only when our ideas don't work and our minds are empty.

The day our ideas run out is the day our minds empty and we open our eyes to see.

Style

This book was written as a guide for novelists to scrub their prose free of dirt. With decent education, everybody can string a coherent sentence. This book brings the writer beyond that. It teaches how to write with impact.

2 themes threaded the chapters together. The first theme reminds writers of the ancient wisdom of showing, not telling. Don't tell how angry you are; show what happened and let the reader feel the rage, firsthand.

This is telling: That jerk made fun of the old man on the street.

This is showing: He took out some change from his pocket and strolled up to the old man trembling by the roadside. "You want them old man? Go pick them." He threw the coins into the mud and snickered as the old man ran after them.

The second theme in the book warns of author intrusion. Unless you are writing an essay, your opinions stay off the page. You want the reader to enter your story. If you share your beliefs, biases or ego, the reader crashes back into reality.

That jerk made fun of the old man on the street. The word "jerk" alerts the reader to your presence. Copywriters must pay extra attention to this point, because you write to the reader, on behalf of the client. If your voice seeps through the copy and disturbs the reader, the ad will fail its purpose.

Chiobu from a game

This is one MMORPG I'm getting into

Ideas vs insights

What makes a good ad? Hard to say. Some say good ads touch people in the heart. Others say good ads sell. Others maintain good ads talk to the audience as if they have known each other for many years.

But they agree, good ads have an idea.

Imagine a night market where people exhibit their wares. Some swear by the quality of their wares; others under-price; some wait for the elusive customer to pursue them; others lie.

Let's say a store is selling knives. The owner may demonstrate his knives by slicing steel that looks like butter. Clever eh? The first impression is butter. On a closer look, you realise it's steel and wow.

The owner is pleased. He sells the sharpest knives. And people noticed it in a different way.

An idea leads the reader towards a familiar line of information, and at the very last minute, you ram your real message into his mind. Like military tactics of firebase and flanking. You distract him enough for your clever idea to assault from an unexpected source. The reader never sees it coming.

How about insights? What are insights?

They are the peepholes of humanity. They spring from a warm-blooded human being. People who engage in the same activities will share the same insights, though they might not notice them. It's like the water surrounding the fish. You don't know till you are out of it.

For example, people procrastinate when it comes to tedious labour, like physical sports. Especially physical sports. So Nike said, Just Do It. Nothing fancy. No brilliant idea. You'll see it coming a mile away. But everytime it hits, you'll still miss a heartbeat. Because it's real. Just do it.

Good ads have ideas. Good ads have insights. Great ads, have insights to power the idea.

Imagine you always score 2nd in school, in sports and in life (come on, it's not that hard). You never enjoy the glamour of winning. You don't have enough fans. People hesitate to place trust in you. What do you do?

You try harder. Insight of the hardworking.

Right. Take a look around you. Everybody's trying hard. Even slackers lie about trying hard. Why should people belive you?

How about, you try harder, because you are only #2. Not #1. Not #3. Ah ha, the idea.

#1 is fine. No problems. Just keep doing the safe thing. #2 is not. They have a target in front, and #3, 4, 5 and plenty more behind. #2 gotta keep moving. #2 tries harder, or they won't stay #2 for long.

Exactly what Avis did in their ads. One of the best campaigns ever, with a USP others cannot steal. How can another competitor proclaim they are #2? Or say they try harder?

An idea is clever. An insight is true. Combine them, and you'll achieve greatness. Good luck.

And the anti-sunscreen

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '98,

People often ask me if I have any advice to offer. And when they do, I tell them this:

If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life, try to remember, some of the most interesting people didn't know what they were going to do at age twenty-two or even at forty. And nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.

Also understand that friends will come and go, this is because of your irritating personality, nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting you through the day is the misconception that people like you, end it now. (bang)

Learn how to smoke Whinny Blues, if you're under-aged, get an older kid to buy them for you.

Get to really know your parents, they're good for money, milk them, then put them in an old people's home.

Travel as often as you can, live in New York City once, live in Northern California once, never live in Adelaide, It's a hole.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, if you do have children, lock them under the stairs.

Do one thing each day that scares you, sing, dance, jump in front of a car.

Do not trust anyone who tries to update Sheakespear for the kids, and if you see Quindon Tarver in the street, punch him in the face for me.

If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember, you're probably fatter than you think, maybe you should consider an eating disorder.

Don't worry too much about the future. If you're nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule time, and make a bomb threat.

If you're a girl, lie about period pains to get out of anything you don't want to do.

Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with richer parents is getting private tuition.

Shop-lift as often as you can, Shopping Centres factor shop-lifting into their prices, so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for free.

When you're on work experience, steal a cab-charge, and take a Taxi to Perth.

Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives you cancer.

Keep your old love letters, if you see an old lover in the street, try to run them over in your car.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you're thirty-five, you'll look like Greg Matthews.

Remember you can wear your underwear four times without washing them, Forwards, Backwards, inside-out Forwards, inside-out Backwards.

Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres, it's a free country,

It's public space. Skateboard on War Memorials.

Smoke in your School uniform.

Set off car alarms.

Plant Drugs on a teacher.

Join a cult.

Spike Drinks.

Don't flush public toilets.

Remember, only you will truly take care of you, so carry a concealed weapon.

Don't wear your 'P' plates.

Walk around with your eye lids rolled back.

Touch your tongue on the tip of batteries.

Be open to new love. Remember, you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.

Expect others to support you, it's easy to get the doll and still do cash in hand work.

Respect your elders, when your grandma dies, have her stuffed.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when you're knee capped by a loan shark.

Get revenge, don't forgive anyone for anything,

But most of all, don't aim too high, you're probably only suited to an office or factory job.

And trust me on the Whinny Blues.

Sunscreen

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97.

Wear Sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year- olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody's else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Dont' be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Everything happens for a reason

Season 2 of Lost has premiered in the US. What will happen to Sawyer, Jin and Michael? What is in the hatch? And the others? Expect some (not all) answers this season.

And the numbers. 4 8 15 16 23 42. They are significant this season as well. So much so that fans have devoted a blog to investigate the minute details we forgo. Like:

4:
- # of years Locke was in his wheelchair.
- # of guns in the marshall's case.
- # of aces on Boone's T-shirt.
- # of years since Hurley's grandfather got his pacemaker.
- Driveshaft is #234 on the jukebox (23 and 4).

16:
- # of years Danielle's distress signal has been looping.
- # of weeks since someone won the lottery before Hurley.
- # of years since Sam and Lenny heard the numbers.
- Jack, Kate, and Charlie found the pilot 16 hours after the crash.

Here's a personal favourite.
23: # of times Jack hits Charlie on the chest while performing CPR before Kate tells him to stop.

Some people have way way too much time.

South Park

Tomorrow is Friday, so that makes it an excellent excuse to skip work and make your own South Park character.

A 1,000 different sicko combis to choose from. Hurry!

Bullshot

Here we go again

The latest iPod killer is... another iPod. The iPod nano has officially murdered the iPod Mini, and the competition. Check out the black one. Cool.

Warcries, anybody?

Help function

I think Nintendo DS (handheld) has a sketch-&-chat function. I don't know. I can't be bothered.

Funny comic though.

Demons

Nicknamed the Noonsday Demon, depression, is the monster that hugs our souls and infects our minds with its paralytic venom. It is called so, as Andrew Solomon says, because it manifests in our plain sight and refuses to go away. Other demons, like greed or lust, can be defeated if we can see them as the pits of our consciousness. But depression, the stubborn kid, manifests in the pride of the sunny weather, shape, size and all, and pokes at our pathetic self, making ridiculous remarks in the process.

Why can't we erase it from our minds, even after we see it as it is?

Scientists everywhere have been trying to solve it for years. But nothings avails yet. Personally, I feel depression is merely a disguise. A mutation of a deeper problem that we deny. Through running and hiding from the deeper problem, we give it strength and endurance. It becomes the Noonsday Demon.

Having looked inside, I have identified my real problem as rage. Uncontrollable anger that overtakes me and changes me into another person. Not unlike The Incredible Hulk, except I don't grow muscles and turn green.

My sister was the catalyst that got me thinking. Every Sunday, after a tutition session, I always fume at the edges of insanity. I am unhappy at her progress. How she keeps making the same basic mistakes that I've been correcting for the last 3 months. That irks me a lot. I've shouted at her. Howled at her. Scolded her. Though I've never physically hit her, I believe the damage I've done to her is the same, if not greater.

But that is wrong. So wrong. She's only 11. A kid. An age for mistakes. And I have no right to hurt her, no matter the circumstances.

Someone smart once said, "You are no bigger than the thing that angers you."

So I thought about it. Went deeper within my memories. And I discovered many, many cases of my rage in the past. They usurped my conscious and like a man possessed, I have done harm to many people. I don't know how the people affected feel. But I fear myself so much. I run. I hide. I repress. Hence, I'm depressed and I erase my memories. I refuse to recall.

Enough. I am not running anymore. I will confront this beast by its horns.

Natalie Goldberg wrote that demons exist within our hearts to guard the treasures. Rage is my demon, not depression. And I intend to get past it to behold the shining gems.

Evil

Screenshot from World of Warcraft. Yes. This is how the actual game looks like when you play. Pure evil.

Anger

Grant me the stubbornness to change what I can, the laziness to accept what I cannot, and enough beer to sit around and endlessly discuss the difference between the two.
Dick Dunn

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
Laurence J. Peter

A man is measured by the size of things that anger him.
Geof Greenleaf

Hammurderer

This is McDonald's discontinued advertising mascot, "The Hammurderer," a mischievous, homicidal imp who kills McDonaldland characters and takes their sandwiches.

He has a long rap sheet of burger-related crimes and a signature cry of 'Stabble Stabble Stabble' and that justifies his place in the proud lineage of McDonaldland mischief-makers.

A few weeks ago, the Hammurderer decapitated Mayor McCheese and ate his head in a children's coloring book. Responding to widespread public outrage, McDonald's executives defended it as "not nearly as violent or socially irresponsible as it has been made out to be, given that the Mayor's head is, in fact, a giant and conceivably edible cheeseburger."

Hammurderer toys and promotional items, which include dolls, T-shirts, ski masks, and spiked bats, have been recalled and are expected to become prized collectibles.

There was an uproar over the latest commercial, in which Birdie The Early Bird is garroted by the Hammurderer and her body tossed in a Dumpster, was vociferous enough to prompt the fast-food giant to pull the plug.

Compare Hammurderer to the 1982 mascot, "Shakes McJunkie," an emaciated addict who robbed characters of their possessions, which he then sold to buy McDonald's shakes. He was later reworked as "The Machead," a homeless, wild-eyed Big Mac addict who turned to panhandling and gay prostitution as a means of supporting his severe burger habit.

I'm sure kids 12-years and below can tell the difference. If in doubt, they would ask their parents. Ain't it so, McDonald's?

Just so you know, this story is made up. Yes. Some people have way too much time.

Run!

There are 8 exit signs in The Agency and they all tell the truth.

On the road again

Staying too long in one place stagnates a person. After you grow accustomed to the ways to the place, the people and the culture, you take it for granted. The freshness dies and you don't feel the need to explore anymore. Your place grows too comfortable to move. And your butt grows roots.

Staying within the comfort zone is a deterrent to success. What will you challenge tomorrow? What rules will you break? Heck, why break the rules anyway when you can keep within safe distances and be well-fed at the same time? Where's the spirit of adventure? Gone.

Keep moving. That's the way to go. It's the only path to new ideas.

WTF

Someone has made a church of LEGO.

It took about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing, more than 75,000 pieces of LEGO to complete. Size-wise, it is about 2.2 m x 1.7 m x 0.76 m.

A true story

This is a true story of a junior creative in a London agency

when I first started, the creative director was fantastic and incredibly talented, but a very hard and brutal creative director. He brought me on board, and in the first year, I worked seven days a week for twelve months, and I didn’t produce a single ad in that time. I was mortified! And at Christmas, I was called into his office for my end of year appraisal, and I was convinced he was going to fire me. He called me in, shut the door, sat me down, and this is what he told me:

“I just wanted to say to you that we’ve failed you. If we could produce the work that you write, this agency would be ten times better. We cannot sell the quality of work that you write, and thus we have let you down. But I want you to know, keep writing what you write, and eventually one day we will sell that quality of work. And as a consequence I want to double your salary.�

The Agency

The first day I was in the agency, I spent a long time sitting in the reception, looking at the inscriptions on the wall. It was a farewell speech by it's founder, talking about his visions for the firm after he died. He requested his name to be taken off the agency's, should it no longer do creative work of the highest quality. He capped it off with a mild threat to return from his grave to undo his name, if we were to pursue big money, and not big ideas.

That was in the 60s. As of today, there are around 80 employees in this agency. I wonder how many knew of this speech he gave.

Mr X, your agency, I'm afraid, has already changed its name a long time ago. Hiding beneath your rusting initials, the mentality of the agency has corrupted, like apples put out to ruin.

The people here do not know it yet. Reality has not catched up with truth. But it will. One day, the engines of this ancient behemoth will cough, spit and breathe its last before lying in the wake of its lifeless mess.

And when the future folks look back at this fallen giant and examine the reasons, they will exclaim," The ghost was here, and we were too blind to see it."

Will this ever happen to us?