LeBron sinks jumpers from edge of the court

A TVC which got the US talking abt recently.

LeBron James, btw, is one of the hottest NBA stars of the moment. Some have dared to compare him to Michael Jordan.

In case you were wondering, this ad is not real, unlike the Honda 606 TVC.

fake Puma ad

fake Nike ad

copy reads "You may not survive the blast. But your shoes will."

What makes an ad gold?

hmm.... uh huh... ... mmm....

ARGH!!!

Maintainence problems & solutions

Here are some actual (alleged) logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution or action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Phone messages

Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.

Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.

"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message. BEEP."

Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, phone number, short message, social security number, and credit card number and we will call you when we're done shopping.

Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)

Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep?

I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

Leave a message or I'll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that.

Suicide Hotline...please hold.

Bush here. I'm not in, so please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.

x-filey crap

Came across this old bits of dialogue on X-files. Lol for Thomas Crapper

Scully (picking up the phone): Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: I can't sleep.
Scully: What happened out at the USDA site?
Mulder: They're conducting legitimate experiments. I met an entomologist, a Dr. Berenbaum, who agrees with your theory of an accidental importation of a new cockroach.
Scully: Did he give you any idea of how to catch them?
Mulder: No... but she did tell me everything else there was to know about insects.
Scully: ...She?
Mulder: Yeah, did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped the scarab beetle and possibly erected the pyramids to honour them? Which may be giant symbolic dung heaps?
Scully: Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?
Mulder: Bambi also has a theory I've never come across...
Scully: Who?
Mulder: Dr. Berenbaum... Anyway her theory is...
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Yeah, both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Scully, can I confess something to you?
Scully (not quite sure what she's getting herself into): Yeah, sure, okay...
Mulder: I hate insects.
Scully: You know lots of people are afraid of insects, Mulder. It's a natural instinctive...
Mulder: No, no, no. I'm not afraid of them. I hate them. One day, back when I was a kid, I was climbing this tree when I noticed this leaf walking towards me. It took forever for me to realise that it was no leaf.
Scully: A praying mantis?
Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and as a result, I screamed. And not... not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day but instead of being astounded I was repulsed.
Scully: Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream?

Samsy

We first met Marcus of a certain ad agency on the 11th Feb 2005. He reviewed our work and gave some fair criticism, and also gave us a new brief to work on. Samsonite, and the challenge was to say worldproof of it. A challenge, for it is (in his own words) one of the hardest briefs to crack.

During this period, we did research and went thru the ad books to see what previous Samsy ads were about. Samsy, it seems, is a favourite among spec ads, others have posted their ideas on the net. What we came up with were already done before by others. This convergence of thinking sure is strange.

So, after some hard work, we had around 30 ideas and 2 meetings with him. Everything flunked except for 2. Those 2 survivors were only deserving of a bronze whereas we should be doing gold standards.

Today was the 2nd meeting. 18th Mar 2005. I will remember today.

Look at it this way

Do you constipate?

If you have less than 4 bowel activities in a week, you have constipation. Your stool is hard and dry and sometimes it hurts. Rumour has it that you might even bleed.

Unknown to many, constipation is a moving moment. Song writers have been touched to tears by their own conditions that they wrote a song on it.

Screamin' Jay Hawkins wrote and sang "Constipation Blues" while suffering a serious bout. He had the following to say about the condition.

"I never before had been constipated in my life and it didn't dawn on me until I was five hours on the stool in the hospital that nothin' was gonna happen. I had doctors give me enemas and still nothin' happened. I had tears in my eyes, and I noticed this beautiful roll of toilet paper and I took out a pencil and, at the bottom of the toilet paper, I started writin' the song backwards, from the bottom up. The more I rolled out the toilet paper, the more I got into the song. I wrote exactly as I felt, each movement, each sound, each pain..."

All I can think of is... ouch...

Who wants a hot dog?

You can find out how good your date is in bed if you buy her a hot dog and watch how she eats it. The story says that a frankfurter (hot dog) resembles the male sex organ. Hmmmm. Here are the tips from Weekly World News:

1. Your date picks at and nibbles her dog. "Not a good sign if you're looking forward to a lusty round of adventurous sex," says Kenwood. "Women who pick and nibble are afraid to take chances or try anything new."

2. Your date snatches the dog off its bun, wags it in the air and then swallows it whole. "This isn't a woman for older gentlemen or guys with weak hearts," says Kenwood.

3. Your date puzzles over her hot dog, and then puts it back down on her plate. "Sounds like you're out with a lesbian," says Kenwood. "Better luck next time."

Go help somebody else

Do not ever, ever do this

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狮�和熊，�的大便比较利害?

解答请看 comments

好冰

20�到30�之间在第几�会�疯?

解答请看 comments

冻翻了

茉莉花.太阳花.玫瑰花,哪一朵花最没力 ?

解答请看 comments

the love-hate of creatives

What's that over there? Part VII

Bubba

Say hello to Bubba, the world's most overgrown lobster. She weighs a lofty 10 kg, and some dreamers believe she's a century old. This behemoth was rescued from the cooking pot but still ended up dead a day later...

Cooling

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公马和�马�跑地比较快?

解答请看 comments

更冷的

怀孕��特别注�什么?

解答请看 comments

冷笑�

�猪，�牛和�羊去 7-11 买东西。

�猪出�被打地鼻清脸肿，�牛出�也被打地满地找牙，�是�羊出�时�没事。

为什么?

解答请看 comments

Keeping fish fresh

A frozen fish processor had trouble selling a new line of fish because it tasted "flat". The company tried everything to keep the fish fresh, including holding them in tanks just before processing - but to no avail. Then someone suggested: "Put a predator in there with them, that should keep them fresh." It worked like a charm. The fish kept moving and retained their vitality.

Moral of the story: have something at stake, be it survival, esteem, reputation, money, so that you'll be motivated to make your ideas successful.

What have we lost?

An elementary school teacher had given her first graders a coloring assignment:

The instructions said: "On this sheet of paper, you will find an outline of a house, trees, flowers, clouds, and sky. Please color each with the appropriate colors."

One of the students, Patty, put a lot of work into her drawing. When she got it back, she was suprised to find a big "X" on it. She asked the teacher for an explanation. "I gave you an 'X' because you didn't follow the instructions. Grass is green, not gray. The sky should be blue, not yellow as you have drawn it. Why didn't you use the normal colors, Patty?"

Patty answered, "Because that's how it looks to me when I get up early to watch the sunrise."