User requirements

Something tells me Lawrens and Florens will appreciate this.

Beware of forum posters!

The 2 dudes at Penny Arcade ran a game demo of Black and decided it was nonsense. But a guy thought differently and raved about it on a public forum. It would have been the usual forum trolling exchange till this turned up in the PA inbox.

Hey guys,

I interviewed for a guerilla marketing business in San Francisco that targeted web forums.

I was told that if I accepted the job, I was to have at LEAST 50 identities on as many forums as I could muster (they wanted 100 eventually), with a goal of 5 posts an hour. The posts had to be well thought out, and the idea was that I was to establish multiple identities with a history on the forums, so that when the timing was right a well written but subtly placed marketing post could be finessed in. And regular visitors would recognize the post as coming from a long time poster.

They had 12 people working there full time, and were hiring 10 more. You do the math. No wait, I'll do it for you: that's 880 posts a day (if minimum was met). However he said the better ones could do around 8 or 10 an hour. And they had different "verticals" so there was the sports guy, and the games guy, the hentai, excuse me I mean anime guy, etc.

But the most critical point was this: develop and integrate the identity. No random "HEY EB GAMES IS AWESOME BUY THIS" stuff.

Kinda spooky.

Didn't take the job. It was a fucking mill.

False profits

Came across this article about Multi-level Marketing. Author debunks the 10 myths of this legendary form of business structure that supposedly brings about financial independence and spiritual maturity. Riiiiight. MLM BS takes the cake, eats it and shoves it up the big a-hole in the sky.

Lie #1: MLM is a business offering better opportunities for making large sums of money than all other conventional business and professional models

Lie #2: Network marketing is the most popular and effective new way to bring products to market. Consumers like to buy products on a one-to-one basis in the MLM model

Lie #3: Eventually all products will be sold by MLM, a new form of marketing. Retail stores, shopping malls, catalogues and most forms of advertising will soon be rendered obsolete by MLM

Lie #4: MLM is a new way of life that offers happiness and fulfillment. It is a means to attain all the good things in life

Lie #5: MLM is a spiritual movement

Lie #6: Success in MLM is easy. Friends and relatives are the natural prospects. Those who love and support you will become your lifetime customers

Lie #7: You can do MLM in your spare time. As a business, it offers the greatest flexibility and personal freedom of time. A few hours a week can earn a significant supplemental income and may grow to a very large income making other work unnecessary

Lie #8. MLM is a positive, supportive new business that affirms the human spirit and personal freedom

Lie #9. MLM is the best option for owning your own business and attaining real economic independence

Lie #10: MLM is not a pyramid scheme because products are sold

What study does

What Jack needs

"You... You will always need something to fix."

Sarah, to her husband Jack, before she left for another man.

Baseball

Oh, such a beautiful girl... I mean sport.

This is how others see us

I found this thread in an ad forum talking about dog-walker ads.

Just so you know, dog-walker ads refer to ads done for awards sake. Sometimes, the ads are for imaginary clients. Worse times, they are for easy products or services where there is inherent drama. This is pure masturbation; It pleases only the person who created it.

Frogs

Here's an interesting article on frogs. Research shows frogs are sensitive to temperature changes in the environment. They display extreme distaste for hot climates and prove it by dying, sometimes one species at a time.

Now this runs in the face of the story of the boiling frog, which goes like this. Put a frog in a beaker of water. Boil the water under a slow flame and the frog does not jump out. This story compares frogs to people who swim in beakers and cook themselves. Or something like that. I think.

Enough about that. In America, frogs die because the temperature is rising.

Why Are These Frogs Croaking?
Massive die-offs in the American tropics are an early warning of the effects of global warming
By JEFFREY KLUGER

Hardy and plentiful as they seem, frogs are actually very frail things, with a semipermeable skin that leaves them vulnerable to even the slightest hiccup in their environment. So when entire species of brightly colored harlequin frogs started dying off in the cloud forests of Central and South America about 25 years ago, scientists suspected that something in the amphibians' ecosystems--they weren't sure what--had gone awry.

Now an international team of scientists think they've solved the mystery. Comparing changes in annual temperatures with the number of frog species spotted, they've documented for the first time a direct correlation between global warming and the extinction of about two-thirds of the 110 known species of harlequin frog.

The critters in question are favorites of scientists studying climate change. Quick and polychromatic, the frogs spend their days near stream banks, where their constant motion and vibrant hues make it easy for researchers to count them. Previous studies have shown that it's not heat alone that kills harlequins but also a pathogen--the chytrid fungus--that attacks their skin. The chytrid is actually a cool-weather organism, doing best at temperatures from 63°F to 77°F. Paradoxically, an effect of global warming is to increase cloud cover in the tropical forests, lowering daytime temperatures and making the frogs more vulnerable to fungal assault.

The most persuasive piece of evidence in the new study, led by J. Alan Pounds of the Monteverde Cloud Forest Preserve in Costa Rica and published in Nature, is a graph that shows both annual changes in average temperature and the number of frog extinctions per year on the same grid: the jagged lines track each other with eerie precision. Species die-offs follow warm years 80% of the time. With tropical air temperatures from 1975 to 2000 rising three times as fast as the 20th century average, things should only get worse.

Frogs are what scientists call an indicator species: particularly sensitive animals that are the first to go when the climate starts to change. Their extinction may increase pressure on government and industry to dial back greenhouse gases. The harlequins, after all, are only the beginning.

You know you are in love

Sure the iPod is a marvelous product, but do you have to dock it in the toilet? Just so we are clear, beneath the white exterior is an exoskeletion of electric circuitry. It's the kind of ugly you don't want to know.

Your iPod doesn't love you back. Period. And no, your iPod needs not the intimate details of your waste disposal techniques. Give it a break.

2006 part 2

A few days ago, I posted my resolutions for this year. I like to sum up my resolutions into single action sentences cos it's easy to remember. Some of my past resolutions were like that.

1. Keep promises to the best I can.

2. Be honest.

3. Go where I want to go, even if it's the road less taken.

4. Listen more, talk less.

If I want to sum up my resolutions for 2006, it would be: Follow through all my efforts.

Living in the past

One of the common sins we commit is to mistake the past for the present. Sometimes, we find the past easier to deal with. Times when we were simple, young and clueless. And the world was less complicated. So we live our present with the conditions of the past.

On the other hand, some may live in the past because it was worse than now. The times were hard, people were sharp and they cut us frequently with their words or actions. Some of the wounds never heal because we lick them constantly. We feed the bruised egos with our attention and keep them exposed.

Both are difficult to recognize and deal with.

There's a third kind. You deny emotional and physical growth among your friends. You refuse to let them outlive their childish weaknesses. You refuse to see their maturity for all its worth. When you meet a friend and you start to talk, try to focus on the topics you bring up. Is it about the past mistakes that your friend commits? That's when you are not letting the past go. It doesn't hurt you that much. But you sting your friend because you imprison him in the past.

This is also difficult to see in yourself. You are lonely in the past. You want to stick there and you need company.

2006

Today is the 8th January 2006. Here are some of the things I set myself to do in 2006.

1. Complete my portfolio and get a job by June.

2. Write 2 hours a day as practice. Believe the power of words. Post a forum comment every morning.

3. Explore comics drawing 2 hours a day. Develop a style and find a voice. Post a piece once a week.

Pizza, pineapple and a goat's anus

Our education system

I wrote this on a forum few days ago. The topic was, does our education make us a better person.

***
I feel we place too much emphasis on rewards like prize wages, loud cars and landed houses. We forget that those are rewards, not goals. They are supposed to come after you have put in the hard work to achieve your dreams.

And yes, I said dreams. The ambitions you held when you were young and ignorant. The essay you wrote in Primary School about "When I grow up, I want to be..."

Some of you see dreamers as unrealistic people. Some of you see dreamers as aliens in our society. Some of you see dreamers as folks with a missing screw in their heads.

And you must be right because you no longer dream.

Dreamers are looking for a smack of reality in their face. They don't know enough of the world, and those who know are so desperate to share their knowledge of what doesn't work.

I'm quite sure that's what Steve Jobs heard when he insisted on making PCs in his garage. IBM told him there's no market. HP told him to wake up.

It's like our education system.

It teaches our children to memorize the facts of yesterday, but doesn't teach them to learn the knowledge of tomorrow.

It teaches our children the hindsight to accept reality, but doesn't teach them the courage to change it.

It teaches our children to keep in line with the system, but doesn't teach them to keep the faith in themselves.

Our education system works too well. We see less and less dreamers everyday. A little bit more, and we'll murder them all.
***

Have you set a deadline to give up?

I got the above question quite a few times in 2005. I don't have a definite answer, and I feel uncomfortable taking the question. I would give a vague reply, something like: Not yet.

This morning, being the first day of 2006 and all, I gave it a little thought. Then I realised why I felt uneasy with the question. It was because I've never thought about it before. Why should I give myself a deadline to do something I won't do at all? I will not give up.

And to those who asked this question before, let me ask you back. Why do you think I should set a deadline to give up? Because you think I'm wasting my time on an empty dream? Because you think I don't have what it takes? Or what? Why do you think I should give up?

Maths problem

Hahaha. I really enjoyed this comic.

Happy new year folks!

And Lawrence made me drink a lot. Ass (: b)

Book of the year

I have read many books in 2005, but nothing comes close to this.

This excellent book teaches you to spot your mental locks and how to open them. You will recognize your thinking pattern and learn a different method to complement it.

For example, you could be very strong in critical thinking and economic rationality. That is excellent in the workplace because we value people who can solve problems with the shortest time and the least cost.

But life is rarely that simple. Solutions are smudged with uncertainties. An option may solve 80% of the problem, but it worsens the remaining 20%. What do you do when your primary reasoning fails to solve the problem?

Dig into the other side of the mind: parallel thinking.

You see, critical thinking is a process of elimination; It cuts down wasteful options. Parallel thinking is a process of creation; It opens up a universe of possibilities.

Critical thinking emphasizes about how different things are. Nobody would mistake a fridge for a cat. But parallel thinking sees how similar a cat and a fridge is. Both have a place to store fish. Both have a tail. And both purr.

Like a spotlight, critical thinking is bright, clear and intense, but the focus is narrow. Parallel thinking is like a floodlight. It is more diffuse, not as intense, but covers a wider area.

To effectively solve any problem, you need parallel thinking to see all the solutions. Then you use critical thinking to pick the answer.

Personally, I find it useful for 2 kinds of problems. The first kind are new problems that require answers I've never imagined possible. And I learn new things that have not appeared on any books before. It's like blind spots: I can't see what I missed till I turn around.

The second kind of problem is people-related. Parallel thinking taught me how to see a person for all his worth. Instead of thinking about what a person cannot do, I learn to value what a person can be taught.

Look into the mirror today. Is it someone who sticks to the familiar, or someone who learns something new everyday?

The Chronicles of Narnia

I have just watched the Chronicles of Narnia. Normally I won't do this, but the desire to release myself from this experience compels me to comment. Hopefully the writing will grant me peace.

Once again, Disney has brought a children fantasy to life on the silver screen. The movie lasts 140 minutes, though it was supposed to be a standard 90 minutes. Rumour has it that the editors fell sick due to over-exposure from the film. Even censors refused to go near it without chemical warfare protection.

In the movie, 4 British children enter the magical land of Narnia through a wardrobe. Now Narnia happens to be a tourist-free country because there are no immigration officers at the other end of the wardrobe, searching for terrorists, bombs or drugs. Instead, it is a land free of humans, if you excuse a nasty witch.

By accident, 8 year-old Lucy wanders into the wardrobe and meets a fawn. In case you are wondering, a fawn resembles a genetic mixup between a man and a goat. He excels in seducing young girls to his house with tea, toast and sardines. I don't know why, but the word paedophile keeps popping into my head. Maybe Disney Corp picked up a British newspaper.

Talking animals make up the majority of the Narnia population and they are divided into 2 camps: the witch party and the lion tribe. The witch is the incumbent tyrant. The lion, king of beasts and all, plots high treason because he hasn't had any Christmas gifts for a hundred years. And it was because Santa Claus took an extended break and pinned the blame on the witch... No wait, that part was from The Grinch That Stole Christmas.

And there's supposed to be a prophecy that every animal in Narnia knows because it's standard kindergarten material. One day, 4 kids would come and rescue them from the cold bitch. Now that must be true, because I saw the same storyline in The Matrix.

One part that confuses me though: why is Narnia a magical land when the witch is the only one who casts magic? Sure there are satyrs, minotaurs and talking beavers, but I really fail to appreciate the magic. You would have expected the 4 kids to wield a wand, chant some spells or toss some fireballs. But no, they did not. Sigh... But I can't blame them, can I? There's no magic in A Series of Unfortunate Events too.

Moving on... Kids meet witch. Kids run away to join the lion's gang. Kids fight and witch dies. Kids become kings and queens of Narnia. Lion takes a long walk along the coastline and forgets to come back. Kids go back to the real world. All's well that ends well. Freakingly, wholesomely, nicely boring stuff.

Excuse me, Disney executives, have you heard of the wizard Harry Porter? No? Oh nevermind.

Don't talk during lunch

I buy my lunch at the coffeeshop or hawker centre every afternoon. You can see all kinds of people there. Office folks, labour folks, study folks... It's a global thing. We eat lunch in the middle of the day because we are hungry.

Everytime I'm in the queue, I think about them. What are they thinking right now? What are they chatting in-between mouthfuls of food? What occupies their minds after swallowing their coffee?

Maybe they are drooling over the new girl whose skirt fails to discipline her creamy legs.

Maybe they are cursing the CEO who stole from the donors, the kidney patients and the NKF staff outside of his bloody gang.

Maybe they are just choking over a stupid joke.

I don't know. But one thing I'm sure. They are not talking about ads.

Because the ads today talk about how the product is the grandest, the superest or the bestest.

Because the ads today talk about how smart the ads are, with concepts that need no words to explain themselves.

Because the ads today talk about how the cutting-edge techniques win the copywriters and art directors so many awards in the international scene.

And because the ads today talk so much, people no longer listen. After all, they are not in advertising. Why should they care?

When I go to a doctor, I don't want to know his college life, his X-ray machine, or his 54-year old nurse. What I'm more interested is the headache that threatens to split my skull and when I'm going to recover from it.

The cliche goes: What's in it for me?

The next time you are out for lunch, think. Is your ad talking to them? You can't persuade if they aren't listening.

A good ad stops the reader. A great ad feeds his mind, warms his heart and bursts out of his mouth during lunch.

So buy your food, sit down and stay quiet. Don't talk too much. Listen. Lunchtime is crunchtime.

What is The Final Solution?

Is it:

1. A mathematical hypothesis that can divide any number by zero and thus prove how the universe came together?

2. An ongoing debate among the World Health Organization to eradicate AIDS in Africa by 2060?

3. A systematic elimination of Jews by Germans in World War 2?

4. A logical process Sherlock Holmes devised to crack his murder mysteries?

The answer:

Perhaps, you are familiar with its other name: The Holocaust.

This happened in World War 2. The Nazis had decided the Jewish peoples were troubling his European conquest. So Hitler devised a plan to round up the Jews and murder them. 6 million Jews were imprisoned in concentration camps and gassed, shot and mutilated.

This decision to systematically kill the Jews of Europe was made at the Wannsee conference in Berlin. During the conference, a group of Nazi officials convened to decide on the "Final Solution of the Jewish Question". The records and minutes of this meeting were found intact by the Allies at the end of the war and served as valuable evidence during the Nuremberg Trials.

The Final Solution was the blueprint; The Holocaust was the execution.